I Will Come Back

I don’t disappear

I just go quiet for a while

been carrying too much noise

Too many voices that aren’t mine

Trying to hold shape for everyone

While mine slips out of line

But I know how this goes

I’ve been here before

I will come back

Not shining, not new

Just ready to stand in my own light again

Through the mess I made

Through the days I broke and called it something else

I don’t break clean

I climb and drag and stall out halfway

Like breath held

Waiting on the fall

Start a million things, finishing only one

Still somehow keep the lights on

There’s a rhythm in the chaos

Even when I lose the beat

I can feel it in my body

When I’m too tired to speak

And I know what it takes

Even when I don’t feel it

I will come back

Never the same

But closer to me

Even if it’s slow

Even when it’s ugly and nobody knows

I’ve built a life out of fragments

Held together by broken beauty

And I hate it and I’m proud of it

At the same time

So if I go quiet again

Don’t call it the end

I will come back

Every single time

Not because it’s easy

But because I don’t know how not to